Why Big Tech targets our 10-15-year-olds – the window of sensitivity

There is a developmental window of sensitivity that occurs with our tweens and young teens that makes this age group such an easy target for Big Tech’s persuasive design tactics.

Yes, we are ALL prone to the infinite scroll, notifications and the autoplay on those endless videos, but an adolescent brain is even more so.

Let me outline briefly what’s going on in there for our 10-15-year-olds to help you understand more.

1. Change is stressful.
   When adolescence starts — sometimes as early as 10 — there are not only physical changes, but also cognitive, hormonal and biological changes. All of these create stress and a heightened sense of anxiety because of the uncertainty of ‘what the heck is going on?’ This heightened sense of anxiety is used by Big Tech to shape the algorithms. Ironically, it ensures that when your son or daughter is searching online for some help for their anxiety, they will be given tons of content that does the opposite. It increases their anxiety, and because they are manipulated to stay engaged, they see more and more content that makes them feel awful.
2. The brain remodelling is quite complex.
   Firstly, the brain starts trimming off the parts that aren’t being used so that it can become more efficient; that’s called pruning or neural shearing. For many tweens and teens, especially our boys, this can increase forgetfulness, disorganisation and negative perceptions of self. The inner critic gets louder telling them they are dumb, stupid, ugly, not good enough and that they don’t matter. As Big Tech’s algorithms are manipulated towards a negativity bias, this ensures our teens and young tweens keep being fed that negative content during this window – and the endless negativity is relentless and impacts moods and behaviour.This is one of the contributing factors to the increasing levels of anxiety and depression we’re seeing in adolescence.
3. The positive side.
   One aspect of adolescent brain development that has the potential to be positive is the rapid increase in the growth of dendrites. This means that in this window there is a huge potential to learn faster than at any other time in your life except before five. If a tween or teen focuses on improving their studies, their favourite sport, or a hobby like dancing or karate or even singing, they can improve rapidly. This is the window in which a young person can learn another language, how to play musical instruments, or become more confident at surfing, skateboarding, coding, or any other creative pursuit.Sadly, due to the exponential growth of dendrites, this is also the window where young people can become addicted faster than at any other time in their life. Big Tech knows all about this and that is why kids in this window of development make such a desirable target market. This window is also where we can see real issues with excessive use of social media and excessive gaming that can become addictive. The same applies to other harmful things like vaping, drinking alcohol, taking drugs and making poor choices that result in delinquent harmful behaviour.
4. During this window, the brain is preparing the immature brain to become a mature brain.
   This occurs through the process of myelination, which is the gradual thickening of axons in the the brain, which improves cognition, concentration, problem-solving, planning for the future and self-motivation. This process is slow and gradual, and girls tend to complete their myelination processed by their early 20s whereas for our boys that completion is closer to 30.Big Tech knows all about this as well and it allows lots of apps and platforms and influences to take advantage of this, well aware that even if teenagers know what is right and wrong, their ability to do what’s right is still developing.

   They quite simply do not yet have the capacity to make sound decisions or to perceive things through a logical lens, especially in the face of peer pressure or when they’re being manipulated by online content.

5. The search for identity is a strong biological drive in this window.
   This is a time we really ask ‘Who am I?’ How can today’s emerging adults truly discover themselves in amongst the online noise, the 24/7 negative news cycles, the money-motivated influencers, and the insidious pressure from idealised and often sexualised images and videos that they see online. Then there is the plastic search for notoriety and fame at any cost, and going viral is seen as a significant achievement for many today. Also, how can they find an authentic sense of self amidst the selfies, the filters, the AI-generated images while they are drowning in the unquestionable thirst for endless connectivity. It seems to be an enormous pressure to conform in order to be accepted, and the algorithms are designed to ensure that this happens, and this often creates increased insecurity and poorer self-worth.
6. The hunger for connection is another biological drive that Big Tech has taken advantage of.
   Belonging is a key biological drive for all humans and that’s probably why social media has become such a huge influence in our world. However, that fundamentally strong drive is so much stronger in this window, as our kids try to find somewhere within their own age group where they feel they belong. Big Tech can make it really difficult, knowing that tweens and teens lack the cognitive capacity to always make the right choice when there is a risk of social rejection and alienation. This is why many girls get caught in Snapchat threads where they might feel uncomfortable, especially when it’s attacking another girl, but they know that if they leave the thread, they risk exactly the same thing happening to them. This is clear manipulation that has been built into the architecture of this app — unashamedly to ensure massive engagement and massive profits regardless of the harm it can cause.Cyberbullying increased 450% in 2025 and the manipulation of tech has helped to facilitate this behaviour. Bullying can create deep scars and it is one of the most significant contributing factors for children and teenagers harming themselves or becoming severely anxious or depressed. It is also a huge risk factor for eating disorders and school refusal. Big Tech simply doesn’t care. Sometimes the emotional burden can become too much, and we have lost a number of beautiful young humans to suicide as a consequence of bullying.
7. This window of potential is also a time that shapes the moral development of young people.
   I would argue that those who have had phones and access to social media before age 10 are often desensitised and have experienced a drop in empathy as a consequence of the marination of age-inappropriate content with violent videos, endless gaming that involves killing and sometimes rape, sexual abuse content and disgusting pornography, which many stumble on accidentally.

   Again, this window is incredibly important in terms of how we see relationships and human intimacy.

   This is the window in which Big Tech targets our tween and teen girls and boys with extreme versions that shape their perceptions of their role in life depending on gender. This is where The Manosphere is waiting for your son and often finds him after he asks a genuinely curious question like, ‘how do I get a girl to like me’? Tween and teen girls are drowning in content about image – with every girl struggling with the compare-despair tendency. TikTok videos may seem harmless, but when they are on constant scroll, girls are drowned in unrealistic expectations that lack authenticity and accuracy.

   The sickos who deliberately manipulate content online to steal our kids’ innocence, to deliberately traumatise them and to steal their identity to cause pain later in their lives, seem to delight in being the worst version of humanity possible. Appallingly there has been no accountability for these platforms for the harm they have caused over the last 10 years. The resistance from the platforms to ensure that account users in Australia need to be 16 for a start, has been a blatant sign of disregard.

8. The rapid increase in AI accessibility over the last five years has been frighteningly exponential.
   Not all of this is bad, however when our kids default to AI frequently, especially around their learning, I am concerned that we will see a dumbing down of young people. As a former high school English teacher, it was a priority within the curriculum for me to teach my students critical literacy, which is the capacity to question the authenticity of texts, arguments and viewpoints. This helped students to recognise that not everything they read is true or believable, and also to explore the art of a good argument where opposing sides are presented rationally.The algorithms in today’s world present extreme views rather than balanced views and the amount of fake news, disinformation and misinformation has everybody spinning, including adults. This is blatant manipulation by Big Tech to ensure massive engagement, regardless of the ethical value of the content. Without developing that understanding or capacity to critically question information, we can all be led to believe anything and that has created a massive industry for scammers, sexual predators and unscrupulous advertisers. Much of this content is created by bots which again Big Tech has created without any conscience of the harm they can cause.

Big Tech has also sold us a lie about human connectedness.

Maybe in the early days of Facebook before the algorithms became as manipulated as they are today, our social media feeds were pretty harmless spaces to be. Even though our kids are handed devices and laptops in the hope it will help them connect with their friends, become competent learners and improve their school grades, we now know hardly any of that has happened. Australia once featured highly on the international PISA scale of student assessment. Since the arrival of smart phones, the rapid expansion of EdTech and the increase in manipulation of content online, Australia has dropped to being one of the lowest scoring education systems. Not only that, we have an epidemic of loneliness among our adolescents so we know that digital connection can never replace human connectedness in the real world.

In some recent studies about the impact of the digital world on our adolescents, it was found that even digitally savvy and aware tweens and teens are still being manipulated and conditioned by the content that is driven by the algorithms of outrage and conflict.

As psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg commented for Kidspot:

“The adolescent brain isn’t primarily driven by logic, it’s driven by emotion, reward, and social comparison. So, a young person can intellectually understand that an influencer image is curated or artificial and still feel ‘I’m not good enough’ when they see it. Those two processes operate in parallel, not opposition.”

For a far more in-depth exploration of this window, please consider my book Help Me Help My Teen, or if you have a son From Boys to Men. Also, if you check out my YouTube channel you’ll see I have a playlist of short videos for people raising tweens and teens, which especially explores the brain changes.

We can mistakenly think that good digital education alone will automatically lead to positive behaviour change, but during this key window of development the constant pressure of the powerful reward systems and the social pressures to belong really challenge this. Our kids are being shaped deeply at an emotional and neurological level.

Big Tech has designed its platforms to use these techniques and they have not changed them, despite being told of the harm they cause. The statistics that show increases in self-harm, tech addiction, disordered eating, chronic anxiety and depression and suicidal ideation cannot be helped by the content that our kids are marinated in every day. There is no doubt in most cases it is making it harder for them to become their own authentic selves with self-worth and acceptance.

It has always been a tricky journey crossing the bridge to adulthood, and Big Tech’s efforts simply to ensure massive profits, has made this window so much harder for our boys and girls.

However, through legislation, regulation, legal action and consumer backlash, I believe the future is looking brighter. Big Tech is increasingly being forced to spend some of that profit on legal penalties, and they are being made accountable for the harm they have knowingly caused.

As parents, this can feel hopeless but please rest assured there is much we can do.

Families need to stand together in the face of Big Tech, without facing blame or guilt. I want to reassure parents that when we know more, we can do more.

Firstly, please delay smart phones with internet access for as long as possible. Explore other options such as smartwatches that only text and call, and ‘dumb phones’ (there are lots of newer phones coming on the market that have built in security so have a look around). Remember that if you need to pass on a message about changes of plans, you can typically do so through the school.

Ensure when you do introduce them, that you regularly review settings around privacy access, and that you have good tech agreements in place – eSafety have just released some fantastic agreements families can use, based on every age and stage.

Part of your agreement can be that your under-16s are not to create social media accounts, in accordance with the social media minimum age legislation in Australia. Most harm happens on accounts so teach them what is in this blog. We know the tech companies have been very slack in enforcing the minimum age restrictions, despite being required by law to do so. However, the very existence of this legislation is a chance for you to have these conversations with your tweens and younger teens about the harms of social media and encouraging them to delay until they are 16, and find other ways to connect with friends.

Secondly, we must always look for ways to prioritise awe, wonder and human connection and to help our tweens and teens develop their own inner compass, because that is their defence against the algorithms. As well as this, it is helpful for families to be having regular conversations and check-ins – and talking to our kids about the manipulative and unethical systems designed by profit-hungry tycoons that steal our attention.

Then, we can explore how we might use tech for good rather than simply being helpless victims of tech that causes harm.

 

Image credit: © By MilanMarkovic / Depositphotos.com

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